3 Ways to Regulate Your Nervous System: That You Can Do Right Now.
In a world where so many women are juggling careers, relationships, families, and personal growth, it's no surprise that many of us feel overwhelmed, exhausted, anxious, or emotionally disconnected.
But what if the root of that disconnection isn’t your mindset or willpower but your nervous system?
Our nervous system is the part of us that’s ‘online’ 24/7: it listens, tracks, and takes in information to keep us safe. When it's regulated, we feel grounded, calm, resilient and capable. But when it's dysregulated (due to trauma, burnout, or chronic stress), it becomes harder to stay present, manage emotions, and rest. Your capacity reduces, and it becomes harder to manage the mental load.
The good news? You can retrain your nervous system and shift your nervous system, and you don’t need to overhaul your life to start. Below are three simple yet powerful techniques to begin restoring calm, safety, and emotional balance in your body.
Coherent Breathing: This is a simple, breathwork technique that helps signal safety to your nervous system. It’s nearly impossible to be in threat response yet breathe slowly and deeply. This rhythm supports the vagus nerve, which activates the parasympathetic part of your nervous system (feeling resourced and resourceful). This activation reduces the stress response. How to do it: Equal inhale and exhale for a count of 5 or 6 counts, breathing as deeply as you can into your body. Ensure the breath is gentle, not forced and exhale either out the nose or mouth. Repeat for 3-5 minutes.
Orienting: This is a great technique you can do anywhere; it’s effective when your emotions feel intense or you want to self-soothe. Orienting expands your awareness, grounding you in the present and helping your nervous system move out of a dysregulated state. How to do it: Pause. Take a few slow breaths. Begin to slowly look around the room or space you're in. Let your eyes slowly wander whilst deeply breathing, and if you find something that’s pleasurable to look at, let your eyes gaze.
Soothing Touch: Touch is one of the most powerful regulators of the nervous system, especially when it’s infused with intentional compassion. If you struggle with self-judgment or emotional overwhelm, this technique can offer immediate relief. When we offer ourselves soothing touch and gentle words, we activate our parasympathetic nervous system, which helps us feel connected, safe, and regulated. It’s a beautiful way to re-parent yourself and signal safety from the inside out. How to do it: Take a few deep breaths, focus on the sensation you feel to ground into the present moment and soothe, use gentle pressure to squeeze or rub up and down your arms or legs (whatever feels better for you), rub your hands or fingers together - focusing on the sensation.
Remember: Nervous system regulation isn’t about doing more, it’s about coming back to yourself, one breath, one moment at a time. These tools are just the beginning. As women, many of us have been taught to override our bodies and push through, but true healing begins when we slow down and listen
Written by Lydia McCartney.
Somatic Psychotherapist / Female Nervous System & Feminine Leadership Mentor
